Meaningful Work for Mothers

There are many challenges facing mothers who are trying to succeed in the corporate world. The corporate world is structured with little regard to the needs of people much less mothers of small children. The traditional corporate culture has a built in value of wages paid for time spent on the jobsite. The demand for working long hours and making your "personal life" secondary rarely works for either men or women. American culture celebrates workaholism rather than viewing it as a dysfunctional behavior. Workaholism is a compulsive behavior that, like alcoholism or overeating, serves to numb feelings.

Often times these issues are discussed as if they were the "problem" of the individual. I feel that this would be an irresponsible and erroneous approach for me to take here. The issues working mothers are facing are systemic. Merely pointing out that the traditional corporate system doesn't work for many people does little to help a working mother. Each individual is reponsible for making career choices that best serve her. Even if the deck is stacked against you, you can still determine how you play your cards.

When making career choices, there are at least two sides of the coin that need to be addressed: self-identity and money. For most professionals, their identity is closely tied if not synonymous with the work that they do. When asked "Who are you?", many people will respond with "a lawyer, veterinarian, teacher, mechanic". Often times our work roles eclipse the other roles that we play and the other aspects of our personalities. Below are some coaching questions to help you explore your identity and self-worth:

How was work modeled to you in your family? Who was the "breadwinner in your family? Did your mother work? How does this affect your view of work and its role in your life?
Did your mother and father (and other caretakers) live balanced lives?
How do you identify yourself?
Picture yourself stripped of your work identity. Who are you?
How is your self-worth attached to your work and the money that you make?
How do your friends, family, and associates view work?

The other side of the coin is money. I am all for the voluntary simplicity approach but life still requires money. Life is expensive. Below are some coaching questions to help you explore money issues:

How much cash do you need each month?
Do your expenses support your life's purpose and vision?
Can you eliminate any expenses? Do you want to?
Again, how much cash do you need each month?
What portion of your cash needs is your responsibility and (if you have a partner) what portion is your partner's responsibility?
Given your money needs, do you need to work full-time or part-time?
Does your current work role and company culture meet your work needs?
If not, have you had any conversations inside and outside of your company to explore other work roles?

It is important to keep in mind that while the traditional corporate culture may not support your work needs, it is your responsibility to make demands in order to get your needs met. This takes creativity, courage and support. But it is possible.